So, this is the life of a terrible procrastinator. Instead of being all packed up and ready to go and relaxing as I wait for my start date, I am still getting my gear organized and ordering things I forgot and paying extra to have it overnighted to me. This is me, guys. This is the mess I am. I’m such a mess right now that I don’t let myself drive further than a mile because the last time that I did, I got into a minor car accident (just a scratch) and I honestly don’t even know—it could’ve been my fault. I’m so absent-minded and scatter-brained right now that I shouldn’t be behind the wheel.

I am constantly rifling through my mind to see if I need to remember something I meant to remember, if I need to order something or if I already did and it’s on its way, if I need to find something I lost, if I need to pack something or unpack something and leave it behind, etc. I am actually so proud of myself when I brush my teeth and shower and eat these days. I’ve been thirsty for hours but don’t want to get up and pour myself a cup of water. I hold my pee in all day because I don’t want to waste a minute that I could be planning, packing, thinking about my hike, and wondering if there’s anything else that I missed.

In addition, I postponed my start date to tomorrow morning instead of tonight. I am exhausted, sleep-deprived (slept in my car last night again), and tomorrow morningsounds easier and more logical for all of us—me, my desert-night-hiking partner, and my friend who’s driving us.

This is a photo of me a few days ago with the mess I made in the living room as I sorted through (almost) enough food for 20 resupply packages and tested out my tent and clothes. I am so grateful to the kind, lovely people who helped me shop, who showed up to help me pack, who called resupply destinations for me to confirm, who offered to take me to the trailhead, who promised to meet me along the trail or send me care packages, etc. Trail angels and hikers aren’t the only beautiful generous souls out there. You’re all so giving and so good. Thank you!

Now I have to go figure out where I put my passport and try to see if everything fits in my pack. And eat. Yeah, that would be good. I aimed to bulk up a little before heading out but have, instead, been losing weight! And hydrate. That’s always smart. And pee. Ooh, a good, long pee sounds nice right about now. And hopefully, I can get some decent sleep tonight before hiking 20 miles in one day!

Tomorrow awaits! I’m beyond elated! It’s amazing and it’s crazy and it’s overwhelming and it’s going to be so great… I love this messy feeling I feel inside right now. 🙂